Don’t I still believe, “God Makes NO Mistakes?” As I thought through
that question, I had a crisis of confusion.
Maybe I don’t really believe it anymore?
Am I having a crisis of faith? Or
is this a mid-life crisis?
I had to take several days to process the entire
experience. I evaluated every
second…from the point that I was asked to sing, to the point that the song was
randomly chosen, or divinely chosen, to the point of self-awareness that there
was the possibility that my dogmatic belief’s system had just been challenged
to the core!
It doesn’t surprise me now that God
used a song, “my” song to get my attention.
He wanted me to lean into Him and wrestle out some confusion in my heart
that I didn’t even realize was so affecting me.
And greater still, He wanted me to know Him more….so the wrestling
began.
After
several weeks had passed, I sat in the school car-line waiting to pick up my
son when an old radio broadcast came across the airwaves. Taped in the early 90’s, I was quite
reluctant to listen, yet as the woman tenderly shared her story, I was drawn in
to her every word. I just couldn’t turn the channel. As I listened to her story of faith and
courage, I couldn’t help but think this woman’s story is so similar to
mine.
One word after the other, as she
spoke I resonated with her journey and each disappointment along the way. In the end, I sat in my mini-van with tears
streaming down my face in awe of the grace that God had so richly and favorably
bestowed upon me in my life. With a
renewed zeal I wanted to share more of how God embraces me into His arms and
gets me through each and every day.
